Skipping Christmas: A Novel by John Grisham (Epub)

Description

Luther and Nora Krank are fed up with the chaos of Christmas. The endless shopping lists, the frenzied dashes through the mall, the hassle of decorating the tree… where has all the joy gone? This year, celebrating seems like too much effort. With their only child off in Peru, they decide that just this once, they’ll skip the holidays. They spend their Christmas budget on a Caribbean cruise set to sail on December 25, and happily settle in for a restful holiday season free of rooftop snowmen and festive parties.

But the Kranks soon learn that their vacation from Christmas isn’t much of a vacation at all, and that skipping the holidays has consequences they didn’t bargain for…

A modern Christmas classic, Skipping Christmas is a charming and hilarious look at the mayhem and madness that have become ingrained in our holiday tradition.

User’s Reviews

Review “Grisham may well be the best American storyteller writing today.”—The Philadelphia Inquirer “Grisham is an absolute master.”—The Washington Post“Never let it be said this man doesn’t know how to spin a good yarn.”—Entertainment WeeklyFrom the Paperback edition. From the Inside Flap Imagine a year without Christmas. No crowded malls, no corny office parties, no fruitcakes, no unwanted presents. That’s just what Luther and Nora Krank have in mind when they decide that, just this once, they’ll skip the holiday altogether. Theirs will be the only house on Hemlock Street without a rooftop Frosty; they won’t be hosting their annual Christmas Eve bash; they aren’t even going to have a tree. They won’t need one, because come December 25 they’re setting sail on a Caribbean cruise. But, as this weary couple is about to discover, skipping Christmas brings enormous consequences–and isn’t half as easy as they’d imagined. A classic tale for modern times, Skipping Christmas offers a hilarious look at the chaos and frenzy that have become part of our holiday tradition. –This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. OneThe gate was packed with weary travelers, most of them standing and huddled along the walls because the meager allotment of plastic chairs had long since been taken. Every plane that came and went held at least eighty passengers, yet the gate had seats for only a few dozen.There seemed to be a thousand waiting for the 7 p.m. flight to Miami. They were bundled up and heavily laden, and after fighting the traffic and the check-in and the mobs along the concourse they were subdued, as a whole. It was the Sunday after Thanksgiving, one of the busiest days of the year for air travel, and as they jostled and got pushed farther into the gate many asked themselves, not for the first time, why, exactly, they had chosen this day to fly.The reasons were varied and irrelevant at the moment. Some tried to smile. Some tried to read, but the crush and the noise made it difficult. Others just stared at the floor and waited. Nearby a skinny black Santa Claus clanged an irksome bell and droned out holiday greetings.A small family approached, and when they saw the gate number and the mob they stopped along the edge of the concourse and began their wait. The daughter was young and pretty. Her name was Blair, and she was obviously leaving. Her parents were not. The three gazed at the crowd, and they, too, at that moment, silently asked themselves why they had picked this day to travel.The tears were over, at least most of them. Blair was twenty-three, fresh from graduate school with a handsome resume but not ready for a career. A friend from college was in Africa with the Peace Corps, and this had inspired Blair to dedicate the next two years to helping others. Her assignment was eastern Peru, where she would teach primitive little children how to read. She would live in a lean-to with no plumbing, no electricity, no phone, and she was anxious to begin her journey.The flight would take her to Miami, then to Lima, then by bus for three days into the mountains, into another century. For the first time in her young and sheltered life, Blair would spend Christmas away from home. Her mother clutched her hand and tried to be strong.The good-byes had all been said. “Are you sure this is what you want?” had been asked for the hundredth time.Luther, her father, studied the mob with a scowl on his face. What madness, he said to himself. He had dropped them at the curb, then driven miles to park in a satellite lot. A packed shuttle bus had delivered him back to Departures, and from there he had elbowed his way with his wife and daughter down to this gate. He was sad that Blair was leaving, and he detested the swarming horde of people. He was in a foul mood. Things would get worse for Luther.The harried gate agents came to life and the passengers inched forward. The first announcement was made, the one asking those who needed extra time and those in first class to come forward. The pushing and shoving rose to the next level.”I guess we’d better go,” Luther said to his daughter, his only child.They hugged again and fought back the tears. Blair smiled and said, “The year will fly by. I’ll be home next Christmas.”Nora, her mother, bit her lip and nodded and kissed her once more. “Please be careful,” she said because she couldn’t stop saying it.”I’ll be fine.”They released her and watched helplessly as she joined a long line and inched away, away from them, away from home and security and everything she’d ever known. As she handed over her boarding pass, Blair turned and smiled at them one last time.”Oh well,” Luther said. “Enough of this. She’s going to be fine.”Nora could think of nothing to say as she watched her daughter disappear. They turned and fell in with the foot traffic, one long crowded march down the concourse, past the Santa Claus with the irksome bell, past the tiny shops packed with people.It was raining when they left the terminal and found the line for the shuttle back to the satellite, and it was pouring when the shuttle sloshed its way through the lot and dropped them off, two hundred yards from their car. It cost Luther $7.00 to free himself and his car from the greed of the airport authority.When they were moving toward the city, Nora finally spoke. “Will she be okay?” she asked. He had heard that question so often that his response was an automatic grunt.”Sure.””Do you really think so?””Sure.” Whether he did or he didn’t, what did it matter at this point? She was gone; they couldn’t stop her.He gripped the wheel with both hands and silently cursed the traffic slowing in front of him. He couldn’t tell if his wife was crying or not. Luther wanted only to get home and dry off, sit by the fire, and read a magazine.He was within two miles of home when she announced, “I need a few things from the grocery.””It’s raining,” he said.”I still need them.””Can’t it wait?””You can stay in the car. Just take a minute. Go to Chip’s. It’s open today.”So he headed for Chip’s, a place he despised not only for its outrageous prices and snooty staff but also for its impossible location. It was still raining of course–she couldn’t pick a Kroger where you could park and make a dash. No, she wanted Chip’s, where you parked and hiked.Only sometimes you couldn’t park at all. The lot was full. The fire lanes were packed. He searched in vain for ten minutes before Nora said, “Just drop me at the curb.” She was frustrated at his inability to find a suitable spot.He wheeled into a space near a burger joint and demanded, “Give me a list.””I’ll go,” she said, but only in feigned protest. Luther would hike through the rain and they both knew it.”Gimme a list.””Just white chocolate and a pound of pistachios,” she said, relieved.”That’s all?””Yes, and make sure it’s Logan’s chocolate, one-pound bar, and Lance Brothers pistachios.””And this couldn’t wait?””No, Luther, it cannot wait. I’m doing dessert for lunch tomorrow. If you don’t want to go, then hush up and I’ll go.”He slammed the door. His third step was into a shallow pothole. Cold water soaked his right ankle and oozed down quickly into his shoe. He froze for a second and caught his breath, then stepped away on his toes, trying desperately to spot other puddles while dodging traffic.Chip’s believed in high prices and modest rent. It was on a side alley, not visible from anywhere really. Next to it was a wine shop run by a European of some strain who claimed to be French but was rumored to be Hungarian. His English was awful but he’d learned the language of price gouging. Probably learned it from Chip’s next door. In fact all the shops in the District, as it was known, strove to be discriminating.And every shop was full. Another Santa clanged away with the same bell outside the cheese shop. “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” rattled from a hidden speaker above the sidewalk in front of Mother Earth, where the crunchy people were no doubt still wearing their sandals. Luther hated the store–refused to set foot inside. Nora bought organic herbs there, for what reason he’d never been certain. The old Mexican who owned the cigar store was happily stringing lights in his window, pipe stuck in the corner of his mouth, smoke drifting behind him, fake snow already sprayed on a fake tree.There was a chance of real snow later in the night. The shoppers wasted no time as they hustled in and out of the stores. The sock on Luther’s right foot was now frozen to his ankle.There were no shopping baskets near the checkout at Chip’s, and of course this was a bad sign. Luther didn’t need one, but it meant the place was packed. The aisles were narrow and the inventory was laid out in such a way that nothing made sense. Regardless of what was on your list, you had to crisscross the place half a dozen times to finish up.A stock boy was working hard on a display of Christmas chocolates. A sign by the butcher demanded that all good customers order their Christmas turkeys immediately. New Christmas wines were in! And Christmas hams!What a waste, Luther thought to himself. Why do we eat so much and drink so much in the celebration of the birth of Christ? He found the pistachios near the bread. Odd how that made sense at Chip’s. The white chocolate was nowhere near the baking section, so Luther cursed under his breath and trudged along the aisles, looking at everything. He got bumped by a shopping cart. No apology, no one noticed. “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” was coming from above, as if Luther was supposed to be comforted. Might as well be “Frosty the Snowman.”Two aisles over, next to a selection of rice from around the world, there was a shelf of baking chocolates. As he stepped closer, he recognized a one-pound bar of Logan’s. Another step closer and it suddenly disappeared, snatched from his grasp by a harsh-looking woman who never saw him. The little space reserved for Logan’s was empty, and in the next desperate moment Luther saw not another speck of white chocolate. Lots of dark and medium chips and such, but nothing white.The express line was, of course, slower than the other two. Chip’s’ outrageous prices forced its customers to buy in small quantities, but this had no effect whatsoever on the speed with which they came and went. Each item was lifted, inspected, and manually entered into the register by an unpleasant cashier. Sacking was hit or miss, though around Christmas the sackers came to life with smiles and enthusiasm and astounding recall of customers’ names. It was the tipping season, yet another unseemly aspect of Christmas that Luther loathed.Six bucks and change for a pound of pistachios. He shove… –This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

Reviews from Amazon users, collected at the time the book is getting published on UniedVRG. It can be related to shiping or paper quality instead of the book content:

⭐ “Why do we eat so much and drink so much in the celebration of the birth of Christ?” —John Grisham, “Skipping Christmas”“The Kranks are skipping Christmas! No party! No Tree! Nothing but money in their pockets so they can blow it on a cruise.” —John Grisham, “Skipping Christmas”Skipping Christmas, by John Grisham, is a delight! It’s a heartfelt comedy about the mayhem and insanity often associated with Christmas traditions.With their only child away in the Peace Corps, then adding up Christmas in dollars and cents, it seemed like a good enough reason for Luther and Nora Krank to skip the whole affair and go on a cruise. After a comedic array of judgements from the community and unplanned mishaps, their neighbors come to their aid and turn a disastrous Christmas Eve into a family homecoming of unconditional love. Skipping Christmas is about family and love, selflessness and forgiveness. It will make you laugh and cry and warm your heart, reminding you of what the season is truly all about.

⭐ Bah humbug! Reading this book—and even though it’s very short, I still had to force myself to finish it—is turning me into Scrooge. Author John Grisham should stick to writing legal thrillers.I bought this book several years ago, but never read it. The title made it seem like the perfect book for 2020, since it feels like we’re all skipping Christmas this year. I was wrong.It’s the Sunday after Thanksgiving and Luther and Nora Krank have just bid farewell to their only child, Blair, who has begun service in the Peace Corps in the jungles of Peru. Because she won’t be home for Christmas, they decide to skip the celebration this year, as well as all the frenzied work that goes along with it, and go on a cruise instead. Thanks to ridiculously nosy neighbors, coworkers who pay far too much attention to Luther’s personal life, and weirdly offended friends, their quest to skip Christmas is met with everything from concern to disbelief to outright hostility. And then the most unexpected and potentially calamitous thing happens.The writing is part sappy and part snarky, the plot is groaningly predictable, and the characters are mind-numbingly one-dimensional. Paper dolls have more personality!Don’t skip Christmas, but make sure you skip this book. I’m being generous giving it three stars.

⭐ This is the third reading. Gets funnier each time. The characters are so human. Love the way the neighborhood comes together. I wish it was so everywhere. The perfect gift, then ending so sweet. Merry Christmas to John Grisham! Thanks for a wonderful story.

⭐ My first thoughts when my book club member suggested reading was oh no how could any one skip Christmas. This was Avery god and funny book. I liked it being short and sweet and in time for Christmas.As the week went by and Christmas was approaching, I too want to skip Christmas. However, my pastor reminded me the reason for the season, which is Jesus Christ. After reading this book although it is not stated, I can see Christ working throughout Luther and his neighbors.Thank you also for reminding me of what Christmas is all about. It is about compassions for those close to you and those not so close like Mark a lonely person the store in need of companionship.

⭐ First, I will say that I get that this book is supposed to be a satirical take on our obsession with Christmas to the loss of its actual meaning. However, the writing made me actively loathe this book.This book’s copyright is 2001, but it feels like it could have been written in the 80s. The lack of sensitivity is appalling. I cannot tell if this was just the way Grisham writes in all his books or if it was intentionally done to make you hate the main characters.Examples of this include:The women in the book were either described by their looks (e.g. string bikinis came up no fewer than 3 times, an interruption by one neighbor was deemed okay but only because she was good looking) or their frayed nerves (e.g. his wife often has to retire to another room to mend her emotional wounds).There were several racist statements about Peruvians throughout (e.g. being worried about his daughter’s fiance’s skin color, describing the Peruvian children as “primitive”, described the people she worked with as “savages who worship rivers”).There was a comment about wanting to take a machine gun to the neighbors and another about wanting to commit suicide after a minor inconvenience.I might have let this fly as painting the picture of Mr Krank’s horrific worldview if the actual story was remotely interesting, alas it was just 200 pages of rampant bullying from the neighbors.Do NOT recommend.

⭐ There are too few truly well-written stories that are genuinely funny.This is it ! I’ve read some John Grisham books,and this one is quiteout of character for him. However, it is so realistic as it goes throughthe life of a middle-class family whose lives are turned upside downby their decision to skip Christmas. And on Christmas Eve morning,everything takes a 180. Laughed all through it. The movie “Christmaswith the Kranks” did not do justice to it. Read the book !!

⭐ This book was recommended to me and it is hysterical. I found myself laughing out loud and thinking of the stupid things that I used to do at Christmas that I felt was so important. Scaling back Christmas rather than skipping it is a better option. Highly recommend this book even for the Scrooge’s of Christmas.

⭐ I have enjoyed watching the movie Christmas with the Kranks at Christmas time for several years now, so when I heard about this book, I just had to get it! I’m a fan of John Grisham’s legal thrillers, so I was curious to see what a fiction book by him would be like. I enjoyed it! The writing was crisp, and descriptive. He did a great job with the characters. It was a quick, and enjoyable read.

⭐ The book is short, and therefore not intimidating.And it is funny – laugh out loud funny in some parts.Nothing super deep or disturbing, just typical humans in a ridiculous situation with a glad ending.This book is PERFECT for advanced ESL students or reluctant teen readers

⭐ When I purchased it I didn’t realize it was based on the movie Christmas with the Kranks. A little different for John Grisham but even though I’ve seen this movie I’m sure it will be a good read, as many movies do not have all the details you read in a book.

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