Harley and Me: Embracing Risk On the Road to a More Authentic Life by Bernadette Murphy (PDF)

Description

“Bernadette Murphy’s luminous book shows us how to take risks that make us fierce and vulnerable, knowing that true strength is about being generous as much as it is about not giving in.” —Emily Rapp Black, author of The Still Point of the Turning World and Poster ChildWhat happens when women in midlife step out of what’s predictable? For Bernadette Murphy, learning to ride a motorcycle at forty–eight becomes the catalyst that transforms her from a settled wife and professor with three teenage children into a woman on her own. The confidence she gained from mastering a new skill and conquering her fears gave her the courage to face deeper issues in her own life and start taking risks. It is a fact that men and women alike become more risk averse in our later years —which according to psychologists and neuroscience is exactly what we should not do. And Murphy stresses that while hers is a story of transformation using a physical risk, emotional and educational risks can serve the same beneficial purpose for other women. Murphy uses her own story to explore the larger idea of how risk changes our brain chemistry, how certain personality types embrace dangerous behavior and why it energizes them, and why women’s expectations change once estrogen levels drop after the childbearing years. She also explores the idea of women and risk in pop culture—why there are so few stories of the conquering heroine (instead of hero). Surely Thelma and Louise driving off the cliff should not be our only pop culture reference for women finding true freedom. With scientific research and journalistic interviews weaving through a page–turning, road trip narrative, Harley and Me is a compelling look at how one woman changed her life and found deeper meaning out on the open road.

User’s Reviews

Reviews from Amazon users which were colected at the time this book was published on the website:

⭐Simply stated, Harley and Me is a must read for anyone who is navigating the obstacle course of life — if adventure and risk is your thing–great — if you’re a woman and you’re tired of never having a woman protagonist in a risk oriented-open-road-adventure narrative — that’s great too — but you don’t need to ride or even care about motorcycles, you don’t need to be a woman, your age and marital status or history need not mirror Murphy’s, a divorced mother of three. I’m an indoorsy, often sedentary, career-focused 50 plus married mother of none and I can’t say enough good things about Murphy’s powerful writing, her candor and authenticity, and her ability to use relevant research to support intuition and emotions, as she explores both our inexplicable and our obvious behaviors from a new and nuanced perspective. Like any literary journey, be it a road trip (Zen and the Art Of…) or a whaling expedition (Moby Dick), readers accompany the author and share in her experiences — but what Murphy does that makes Harley and Me an indispensible owner’s manual for contemporary living (with all its stressors and distractions) — is she triggers an innate desire to make sense of life as we know it and exposes safe unsatisfying choices as the biggest risk of all. This book is as much about the ride as it is about overriding sub-conscious resistance to the unknown — releasing the brakes and making the moment matter so that momentum stands a chance to propel you forward.

⭐Stellar! I drank down this book in one gulp. Filled with raw and honest insights, Murphy’s ‘Harley and Me’ takes us deep inside young middle age and what it means to be a woman on a quest to break out of the ‘old usual’ into the new. Murphy claims new ground, writing with equal parts confusion, compassion and conquest. As much as I admire Cheryl Strayed, this is a ‘Wild’ for grown-ups. With a literary terrain ripe for voices of the burgeoning ‘baby boomer’ population, Murphy’s brave forays into and beyond the threshold of this rich landscape is astounding. Studded with super-accessible literary and scientific references that range from endocrinology to death to the anatomy of risk-taking, ‘Harley and Me’ does an ab-fab job of keeping you in the sidecar of a well-considered quest and an ultimately empowered life. You’ll learn as much (and more) about yourself (take the tests!) as you do about Bernadette, someone who struggles to and ultimately becomes an enlightened and an organic part of the world around her. If you don’t know much about motorcycles, it’s pretty cool too. A triumph! (Or rather, a Harley!) Anyway, read this. Really.

⭐First impression of the book was great, what’s not to love about a book about motorcycling? When I read a couple reviews I began to have a little doubt, not because the reviews were bad; because they sounded like I would get bored with the spiritual healing, or the scientific reasoning for various things, or maybe it was going to be another one of those “chicks on bikes” books. I pressed ahead anyway, I have some time on my hands. I read the prologue and was hooked. As someone who had similar married life experiences, albeit from the husband side of things, I was able to relate to the emotions that happens after ending a twenty plus year marriage. I could also relate to the idea of taking up a new hobby: motorcycling. Ms Murphy’s perspective was refreshing, inspirational and on target. I can’t recommend this book enough. There are a lot of us in our mid-lives that could learn from this book.

⭐I finished Ms. Murphy’s book and I thought I’d pass along a few thoughts.I appreciated her scholarly approach to her ‘coming out’ process, the biological as well as the spiritual.The references that flowed within her story were helpful, and since I had read many of those same authors in under-grad and grad school, I found these refreshments enjoyable.When she write about her childhood and its devastations, I want to reach out to little Bernadette and tell her, “see, everything will be all right.”I am also reminded of how many of us, mostly women, who have had damaged, belittled, and dreadful childhoods and how so many of us have triumph over the scars and made a better, wise, and wonderful life.I so enjoyed her adventures, and reading her evolution during that slice of her life. I thank her for being candid and brave.I admire the way she lives her life.

⭐Inspiring, uplifting, candid, and fun to read–just a few of the glowing adjectives I can apply to Bernadette Murphy’s new book, Harley and Me: Embracing Risk on the Road to a More Authentic Life. Bernadette embraced a Harley Sportster on a 5000-mile cross-country ride–and in other adventures learned to rock climb, ice climb and paddle an outrigger canoe in open ocean–as means to pull herself through fear and despair toward optimism and self-confidence when her marriage failed. This book tells that exciting story but also offers every reader a roadmap toward self-actualization, with or without a Harley. “Lean into what scares you with all your might. Throw your body into that turn even when it feels like it will kill you,” she advises, adding, in conclusion, that “risk is not just the possibility that something bad or unpleasant will happen, but the certainty that something new and unexpected will occur.”

⭐”Harley and Me” should inspire everyone to take risks that ultimately embrace life. It doesn’t matter what the risk is. For Bernadette it was riding a Harley and other high risk ventures. For you, it could be going to a party, or flying on a commercial airplane, or ending a marriage that is empty, or changing jobs, or just walking out of your front door on a weekend to try something new. In this well documented, well written memoir, you will be inspired to be your best self. Highly recommended for everyone. Plus, the bonus is that you will learn so much about the Harley-Davidson world, which in itself is a fascinating culture.

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