No One Else Can Have You by Kathleen Hale (Epub)

Description

Sara Shepard’s Pretty Little Liars series meets the cult classic film Fargo in this gripping, dark comedy by debut author Kathleen Hale.

A quiet town like Friendship, Wisconsin, keeps most of its secrets buried . . . but when local teen Ruth Fried is found murdered in a cornfield, her best friend, Kippy Bushman, decides she must uncover the truth and catch the killer. Since the police aren’t much help, Kippy looks to her newly discovered idol, journalist Diane Sawyer, for tips on how to conduct her investigation. But Kippy soon discovers, if you want to dig up the truth, your hands have to get a little dirty, don’tcha know.

In this riveting young adult novel, Kathleen Hale creates a quirky murder mystery that is intricately plotted and sure to keep readers guessing, laughing, and cringing until the surprising final pages. “Can a murder mystery be funny? You betcha!” raved Kirkus Reviews in a starred review.

User’s Reviews

Amazon.com Review No One Else Can Have You Special Content In the darkly humorous No One Else Can Have You by Kathleen Hale, main character Kippy Bushman must uncover the truth behind the murder of her best friend and catch the killer, don’tcha know. In this exclusive piece, meet Kippy Bushman, amateur detective and Diane Sawyer’s biggest fan, for the first time. My name is Kippy Bushman, I live in Friendship, Wisconsin, and I’m surrounded by a bunch of superpolite, serial killers. Well, they’re hunters, technically. I mean, I eat meat and everything—venison burgers, venison sausage, venison steaks; all of it. I guess I’m just not into the whole murdering part, which you can find instructions for on bright green computer paper, tacked up on bulletin boards all around town. REMINDERS FOR THIS YEAR’S HUNTERS: 1.) Shoot that deer cleanly through the neck! And whatever you do, don’t you dare hit it in the stomach! That’s called “gut shot” (remember it, add it to your vocab list) and it leaves the animal writhing on the ground, screaming like a bleeding child. Not to mention it ruins the meat!! 2.) Drain that corpse! 3.) Skin that sucker! 4.) Chop it up and freeze it! Waste not want not! 5.) Mount that head! (Preferably at Jim Steele’s taxidermy on Main Street, GO USA!) YOURS TRULY, THE FRIENDSHIP SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT I understand that hunting’s necessary—especially around here. Otherwise the buck and doe population balloons to the point where you can’t even drive fast or plant a proper garden without them getting in your way—don’tcha know, you betcha, the wife and I’ve been trying coyote urine on the bushes, what a big help—it’s all anybody talks about. My neighbors even died last year because they hit a ten-point buck. But still, autumn can be pretty gross. The leaves start to fall and everything is so nice-looking—sure—but if you peak out your car window through the raining foliage on your way to school, you can always see about 10-12 gored deer hanging upside down from supposedly friendly neighbors’ basketball hoops, just bleeding like crazy onto the pavement. Once I saw somebody’s pet—a Golden Retriever, I think—lapping up the blood. It was terrible. It makes you wonder about people, I guess. That they could be so numb to a bunch of animal intestines cooling on the ground where their kids have free throw contests, or whatever, and then they turn around and bring casseroles, all cooing about Jesus, whenever someone dies. Anyway, if I’m in a bad mood it’s only because my best friend Ruth was supposed to come over for a sleepover last night and never showed. From School Library Journal Gr 10 Up—The tricky trifecta of murder mystery, dark humor, and satire doesn’t quite pay out in this novel. The murder is that of Ruth Fried, protagonist Kippy’s best friend, though the two have little in common by junior year of high school: Ruth is a local party girl, sexing up not only the local town vandal but also a middle-aged lawyer. When Ruth turns up violently murdered, strung up in a cornfield, the slow-witted sheriff locks up Colt, the boyfriend. Nobody knows about Ruth’s other exploits except Kippy, who is given Ruth’s journal, full of nearly indecipherable handwriting and lots of “sex stuff” that the deceased’s mom has asked Kippy to censor. The dark humor revolves around Kippy’s awkward and naïve interactions with the world-she’s been a bit off-kilter since her mother’s death during her early childhood and still marches to a different drum. Kippy and Ruth’s older brother, a soldier suffering from PTSD, are determined to find out who really killed Ruth. Small-town Wisconsin is satirized: the culture of potluck and bratwurst, saccharine niceness, and a Ruth Fried Foundation Brigade that wants Colt’s head on a platter. The plots trails a bit through Kippy’s investigation, and readers may find themselves in a walk, not a run, to finish Hale’s story.—Suzanne Gordon, Lanier High School, Sugar Hill, GA From Booklist Jeez Louise! This here is a super-duper mystery, don’tcha know? Hale’s debut will be compared to the film Fargo, but that’s hardly a criticism. With a mix of icky brutality and stoic, deadpan humor, Hale welcomes readers to Friendship, Wisconsin, where homecoming queen Ruth has just been found dead in a cornfield, stuffed like a scarecrow. Cripes! Ruth’s diary is given to best bud Kippy (she’s instructed to redact the “sex parts” for Ruth’s mom), but what she discovers is that the caustic, world-weary Ruth didn’t seem to like her a whole bunch. But that won’t stop good old Kippy from clearing the name of Ruth’s boyfriend (even though he’s a jerk-face), even employing Ruth’s brother, recently returned from Afghanistan, as a codetective—an okeydokey plan, provided they can stop “sucking face instead of crime fighting.” This is snort-inducingly funny from start to finish, and credit Hale for giving Kippy psychological reasons for her obsession for solving the mystery without ever getting gooey about it. If readers can synch up with the weirdo tone, they’ll love it. You betcha. Grades 9-12. –Daniel Kraus Review “Can a murder mystery be funny? You betcha!” — Kirkus Reviews (starred review)“Hale nimbly manages a satisfying blend of chills, suspense, and laughs in this dark comedy.” — Bulletin of the Center for Children’s Books“Will make readers both cringe and chuckle…sweetly amusing…the last few pages are nail-biters” — Publishers Weekly“A super-duper mystery…snort-inducingly funny, from start to finish.” — Booklist“Hale’s story is pure fiction. It’s also extremely funny. As the protagonist, Kippy Bushman, attempts to unravel the mystery of who killed her best friend, the reader is introduced to a cast of bizarre characters that turn what could be a grisly mystery into a darkly hilarious madcap romp.” — Newsweek

Reviews from Amazon users, collected at the time the book is getting published on UniedVRG. It can be related to shiping or paper quality instead of the book content:

⭐ Witty, clever, driven by anger for sure, but sublimated into page-turning humor. Critics do understand it’s a work of FICTION, right? It’s kind of like a Seinfeld novel would be written, far-fetched but hilarious scenarios with wicked truth woven throughout. It does mention S-E-X for those shame-based quaking fundamentalists who wish their children had no genitals, lol. I think that those who are bothered by it are simply unwilling to take an honest look at themselves, their actions, and their own desires and motives. Five stars.

⭐ After the controversy regarding this book and this author, I wanted to make a decision on its merits for myself, but was reluctant. After all, supporting an author who’d crossed the line with reviewers/bloggers seemed like I was rewarding her bad behavior. But when I read the first couple of preview pages here on Amazon, I was immediately hooked by the book’s quirky, first person voice.In the beginning, I wasn’t disappointed. I liked Kippy and I enjoyed the story’s dark events being told through her eyes. I particularly liked learning about her now deceased “best friend” Ruth through both Kippy’s perception and Ruth’s own diaries; how our own perception of reality often doesn’t match the truth. I didn’t mind the book’s quirky characters or the smiling campiness with which her small town and its residents were described. I bought it all. But as soon as the character who would later be revealed as the murderer was introduced, I began to lose faith in the story. I thought, if this individual actually turns out to be the murderer, I will seriously have to doubt Ms. Hale’s ability to successfully spin tension-filled mystery. And, alas, I was right. Note to author – the killer doesn’t always have to be the one who has the clearest means, motive and opportunity while being the most disfigured and dysfunctional character in the whole story.Very soon after Kippy decided to find the murderer herself, the story began to wander, moving from one kooky situation to another like a magical mystery tour. It was as if Ms. Hale knew the book would be too short as the plot she envisioned unfolded, so she crowded her story with the misadventures of Kippy, hoping we wouldn’t notice that very often these scenes didn’t move the plot forward in the slightest.So when I finished the book, I was disappointed. There is no question that Ms. Hale is a very good writer. Her prose is a pleasure to read, and unlike other reviewers, I really enjoyed the complexities of Kippy. And given that Ms. Hale is so young, I would be inclined to keep an eye the work she produces in the future. I would bet that whatever stories she chooses to tell will be a little more complex and a little more developed plot-wise.I also have to say, that I found other reviewers criticisms of this story as containing slut-shaming, insensitivity to PSTD, as well as being offensive to domestic violence survivors to be utterly ridiculous and distastefully politically correct. This is fiction, people. Let creativity run amok. Don’t confuse dark humor with the evil that it mocks.

⭐ Great read

⭐ This book was ok. The cover sold me and the fact that it said Fargo meets Pretty Little Liars.I’m from Fargo so, boom, sold.This was a book about a teenage girl named Kippy from Friendship, Wisconsin who’s friend gets murdered in a pretty terrible way. Kippy’s mom’s friend gives Kippy her daughters journals and said to clean it up a bit so she can read it someday and remember her daughter. There’s a lot of mean words in the journal about Kippy and their friendship and it irritated me how they were supposed to be inseparable best friends and how this girl (geez, I think her name is Ruth) was basically a vain bee-yotch.Anyway the whole town is STUPID. Like really dumb. Her dad however is not too quick himself but he is so adorable, I liked him a lot. But the town basically pins the murder on a teenage boy that has the worst reputation and who was dating Ruth. Kippy doesn’t buy it and starts her own investigation with the help of Ruth’s older brother who seems to like Kippy’s company and she has always had a big crush on him.The thing that really bothered me was that the town was gullible and ignorant. I realize Fargo is kind of done in that light as well, but for me, it only works in movies. I don’t like unbelievable books unless they’re fantasy.Not to mention this book has so many similarities to Jennifer’s Body, the movie by Diablo Cody (good movie and done well!)…but I still enjoyed it.

⭐ I was about to give this book four stars but after the last chapter I went with three.The pace of the book was a bit odd but somehow flowed nicely for the most part. Generally, I liked the characters and subtle foreshadowing but there was this depth that was missing that made it hard to connect to Kippy. The plot was also unclear and halfway through the book I was still unsure what the actual point of the book was.It was good and I would recommend it to anyone that likes locked room mysteries but honestly it just ended on an unsatisfying note.

⭐ I’m not quite sure anyone would want you! This book was painfully predictable and got a little silly in parts.

⭐ I loved Ruth’s diary excerpts and such a twist in the end. Never thought that kippy would end up how she did. I would absolutely read this book again

⭐ I liked the book except for the profanity. I thought it was for teens and preteens and had planned on giving it to one of my grandchildren (age 14) but decided against it because of the foul language. The story line was done well and was great for a first novel.

⭐ Ms. Hale hooked my attention and held on until the last chapter. I first became familiar with her through some of her hilarious articles and despite some of the reviews I’ve read I decided to proceed (without caution).The book is a quick read; I finished it in a single day with no regrets. The ending was surprising and the protagonist was relatable. Who hasn’t loved too hard or struggled with the grief of losing loved ones?I liked the book. It tugged at my heart strings and reminded me what it was like to be a teenager dealing with… Whatever it is that teenagers deal with.Id recommend it to anyone that appreciates mysteries and also those that still remember their teen years. Sometimes, as adults, we get so caught up in adult’ dramas that we can’t relate to stories that don’t focus on where we are in life.

⭐ I’m glad I didn’t let the negative reviews put me off from reading “No One Else Can Have You.” I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I think most of the characters are well drawn and the mystery is very engaging. It is a fast moving story that kept my attention throughout. There were times I felt a little more backstory could have been used or more detail given in a particular area, and yes, some scenes are a bit over the top, but overall I thought it was well written and fun. I will be on the lookout for more books by this author.A WORD OF CAUTION: I urge fellow readers to sift carefully through these reviews. To be honest some of the reviews were so snarky that I had to discount them and rely solely upon the reviews that didn’t seem to personally attack the author but critiqued the novel itself. I also didn’t pay heed to the reviewers that stated they read only the free Kindle sample. A sample may be enough to tell you whether or not you might be interested in reading the book yourself but in my opinion you cannot fairly review a book unless you have read most, if not all, of it. (Some reviewers even admit to not reading it at all yet they gave the book one star!!!) Also watch out for spoilers, some reviewers are giving away the entire plot without warning!

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