Once a Crooked Man: A Novel by David McCallum (Epub)

Description

A deliciously quirky crime novel from David McCallum, the beloved actor known for his portrayal of Illya Kuryakin on The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and Dr. Donald “Ducky” Mallard on NCIS.

Crime pays. And pays well.

Sal, Max and Enzo Bruschetti have proved this over a lifetime of nefarious activity that they have kept hidden from law enforcement. Nowhere in any file, on any computer is there a record of anything illegal from which they have profited. But Max has a problem. His body is getting old and his doctor has told him to take it easy. Max has decided that the time has come for the family to retire.

But when young actor Harry Murphy overhears the Bruschetti brothers planning changes to their organization, including the murder of a man in London who knows too much, the Bruschetti’s plans begin to unravel.

After Harry makes the well-intentioned if egregious mistake of trying to warn the Bruchetti’s intended victim he finds himself alone in a foreign country, on the wrong side of the law, with a suitcase full of cash and a dangerous man on his trail. And while his good looks, charm and cheerful persistence may prove assets in the turbulent events that follow, none of Harry’s past roles have prepared him for what happens next.

At turns tense and funny, Once a Crooked Man is infused with the infectious charm that has made David McCallum one of television’s longest running, most-beloved stars.

User’s Reviews

Review “If listening is your preference, you’ll be happy to know the audio book is narrated by the author, whose facility with accents, intonations and vocal styles is so convincing you’ll swear there are several readers at the mike.”-Fran Wood, NJ.com”McCallum is effective when giving voice to his creations, going American for the Manhattanites, upper-class Brit for Villiers and his wife, adding a bit of a Russian growl for Ivan, and a brash, sexy cockney for Lizzie.” -Publishers Weekly”To hear a terrific book brilliantly performed by the author is one of life’s huge pleasures. [David McCallum’s] velvety voice is a wonderful instrument, and he uses it to purr, to alarm, to make you laugh while he remains quietly deadpan as he follows his Candide-like actor-hero Harry Murphy through a baroque series of toils and dangers he got into because he was trying to save a stranger’s life. Only an actor could have written this deliciously entertaining story, and no one could have performed it better. Standing O.” -AudioFile Magazine, Earphones Award Winner –This text refers to the audioCD edition.

Reviews from Amazon users, collected at the time the book is getting published on UniedVRG. It can be related to shiping or paper quality instead of the book content:

⭐ A good old-style Cold War story, fun to read, with some surprising twists and turns. That said, in my opinion, it would have been much, much better without a few sex scenes that were odd, and very oddly placed. It’s as if an editor somewhere said, “Add a sex scene here, here, and here,” and so he did. If you can ignore those silly bits–easily done since they add nothing to the story–it was fun to read. EXCEPT, and this is a big one for me, I particularly objected to one very un-silly bit clearly indicating that women like to be raped, are sexually satisfied by it, and that it’s the basis for a happy relationship. Ummm . . . NO. Now, I like David McCallum, I really do. Growing up, he was my personal Man from U.N.C.L.E. heart throb. His role as “Duckie” in NCIS shows humor, sensitivity, and kindness, not to mention intellectual brilliance, and I hope at least some of that genuinely is inspired by his own personality. But I have a really tough time with antiquated rape mentality, and it IS an important part of the plot.

⭐ Sparkly writing. Fizzy with a bit of a bite. Any story that begins with a visit to Starbucks in the first two lines has my attention. (No I don’t work for Starbucks, but I am addicted to vanilla lattes and I do live in Seattle!)I loved that the protagonist was an actor…and all the details that I’m assuming come from David McCallum’s experience (I had such a crush on him in The Man From UNCLE).I always cast novels…and I could just see that funny guy from Wings and Sideways as Harry. And Danny DeVito as one of the Bruschettis anyway. Right?I loved his details…and how all the characters..well, most of them anyway…were appealing. I really cared what was going to happen to them…it’s just that after 3/4 of the book…I begin to say (as I so often do nowadays)..GET ON WITH IT!!So I skimmed on through to the very satisfying conclusion.If McCallum puts down his scapel (after he carves a grin onto Mark Harmon’s stone face in NCIS)and picks up his pen (well…stylus, maybe) again…I’ll buy it!

⭐ ** spoiler alert ** While I love Mr. McCallum, and have since his days playing Ilya Kuriakin, I would advise him not to quit his day job. This story is a combo of mistakes – too many characters who I care nothing about, a family of Mafia who are stereotypically nonentities, a plot that neither makes sense nor leads ANYWHERE, mismatched POV, and paragraphs and paragraphs of telling. Telling, telling, telling some more… Pacing problems. Back and forth flashbacks. Oy.Harry is likeable. An actor caught up in something bigger than himself. Cool concept that could have been done so much better. As the writer is an actor himself, I’m not surprised that Harry is so good at EVERYTHING – apparently, playing a killer/bomber/spy/etc makes you able to act like one. It’s okay. Harry is the only positive aspect of this book, so I’m willing to overlook it.If this wasn’t bad enough, we have a completely useless (to the plot) sex scene where the main female, taken hostage, tied up, trying to figure out how to get away from the casually violent and homicidal mafia don is strapped to a bondage table and raped. During this she figures out, wow, how about that? I’m actually totally turned on by angry, nasty, rapists who tie me up! Not since Luke and Laura have I been as disgusted by the notion that a woman falls for her rapist.I made myself finish this book out of respect for Mr. McCallum. But… no. Nope. Not good.

⭐ I loved the fact that Mr. McCallum is so detailed in his writing and very descriptive, his attention to specifics is superb. I was impressed with his extensive vocabulary, which is usually lacking in any crime novel.I did find the story a bit lacking in development, either in the story or in the characters. This made it a bit difficult for me to get involved in the story for the first 50 pages or so, but I stuck with it and glad I did.I’m not one for foul language, but I understand that the underworld of crime lords and thugs don’t have a glamorous dialogue and Mr. McCallum obviously realizes this too and has plunged himself into the depths of these hooligans and brought them to life. I recognize that the “f” word is common street dialect and is a necessary part for the realism of his criminals.I was surprised at the sexual accounts, I found myself blushing even while reading alone. I would never have thought that this some-what quiet and reserved sort of Scott/Brit could have written something so erotic and explicit. Perhaps he has implicated himself with a glimpse into a fantasy.Either way, Bravo Mr. McCallum. I admire you and your extensive talents and accomplishments. Mr. McCallum has never ceased to astonish me. His list of achievements is endless and “Once a Crooked Man” is just the latest added to his very extensive resume of endeavors.

⭐ This is a freaking barn-burner, and is, like Robert Heinlein said, guaranteed to contain 100% words.I love David McCallum, his acting and his intellect and his willingness to do in-depth research for his roles. I admire his use of the language and I am very pleased that he took the step of becoming an American citizen.However, this book is what he says it is, which is a collection of scenes (loosely pulled together around a plot by his editor, who also seems to have written about half the scenes). Now, I have a similar problem, in that I tend to write scenes and have no particular ability to write a plot, so it’s a bit rude of me to point this out.The problem is that I have read this once, enjoyed the heck out of it, and will never read it again.I very much appreciate that Mr. McCallum shared his “scenes” with us. Thank you, sir.

⭐ I thoroughly enjoyed David McCallum’s first novel. For a first time novelist, I found his story fun and intricate with many plot twists. As I read/listened to the story I wondered how he would tie everything together and he does so beautifully.As other reviewers have mentioned, there is one section that could have been left out as it tends to take away from the quirky fun flavor of the plot. I did not find it particularly offensive, just unnecessary.The only criticism I have is that it was hard to discern at times whether the author was writing as an American or as a British author as there was a bit of mixing of terms and phrases between Americanisms and Britishisms. It certainly is understandable considering Mr. McCallum’s background, however I hope his sequel will be more consistent one way or the other.I highly recommend Once a Crooked Man and am looking forward to more from this author!

⭐ Harry is a cleaver young man applying his acting experience to real life to solve a mystery. Wanting to do the right thing and warn someone his life is in jeopardy turns out to lead him into all types of life threatening situations. A very enjoyable story and I encourage you to read about Harry, Lizzy and even Max.

⭐ Always a fan of the author. Was dubious about his writing ability but thought I would give it a try. Glad I did. Delightful and well crafted mystery. Kept it moving, Character development great. Minor criticism, some of the twists and turns a bit too facile. All in all a great read. Waiting for his next book.

⭐ I like audio books, the reading voice can make or break a book, he makes it come alive. Mr. McCallum has an excellent reading voice. This book is very entertaining, good first book. If you are offended by swearing or sex scenes then something else might be better for you but if you can get past that then it holds your interest and is a good listen. I hope he does more writing or maybe more readings. His voice is a pleasure to listen to. I found the stories he read of H.P. Lovecraft online and his renditions were marvelous. I only hope David McCallum does more audio books, this would make so many happy to have his voice in their heads.

⭐ This was a very enjoyable book for its being written by David McCallum, a first time author. I think most everyone who likes mysteries will be captivated by the plot. There was one graphic sexual place in the story that I thought was a bit unneeded. Outside of that, the book was a real page turner for me. Should McCallum write another mystery book, I’ll be interested in checking it out.

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