The Sex Myth: The Gap Between Our Fantasies and Reality by Rachel Hills (PDF)

Description

From a bold new feminist voice, a book that will change the way you think about your sex life.Fifty years after the sexual revolution, we are told that we live in a time of unprecedented sexual freedom; that if anything, we are too free now. But beneath the veneer of glossy hedonism, millennial journalist Rachel Hills argues that we are controlled by a new brand of sexual convention: one which influences all of us—woman or man, straight or gay, liberal or conservative. At the root of this silent code lies the Sex Myth—the defining significance we invest in sexuality that once meant we were dirty if we did have sex, and now means we are defective if we don’t do it enough. Equal parts social commentary, pop culture, and powerful personal anecdotes from people across the English-speaking world, The Sex Myth exposes the invisible norms and unspoken assumptions that shape the way we think about sex today.

User’s Reviews

Reviews from Amazon users which were colected at the time this book was published on the website:

⭐If you’ve ever felt that you are defective, dirty, or bad in any way because of your sex life (or lack thereof) then you owe it to yourself to read this book. Rachel Hills explores the numerous unspoken assumptions we have in the Western world about sex and what people “should” be doing. Through personal interviews and hard facts, she reveals that pretty much everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, social status, gender identity, age, etc. thinks that they’re falling short of some imagined ideal. For me, this was a life-changing and incredibly validating book.The center of her argument is that our culture attaches an enormous amount of meaning to sex and that a person’s sex life serves as a proxy for how attractive, interesting or valuable a person is in the rest of their life. Or, as Rachel Hills puts it, “There is a sense that sex is uniquely revealing: that if someone has a certain type of sex, they must be a certain corresponding type of person.” Her interviews include people from the United States, Australia and the U.K. who all feel that their sex lives don’t match with who they are, or how they think of themselves.Hills argues that sex doesn’t deserve nearly this much weight and emphasis and that the reality is that sex isn’t nearly as life-affirming as most people believe without question. I don’t think Amazon will let me post a link to it, but if you’re still not sure about buying the book, watch her TED talk entitled “Is Sex Necessary?”. Search for that on YouTube and you’ll find it. In that 9 minutes, she expertly lays out much of her argument.In the end, the message of the book is hopeful and inclusive. You are not broken and you never were. It doesn’t matter if you’re a virgin at 25 or 35. That doesn’t mean you’re unattractive or unlovable….it just is. Another book which I feel is a good companion is Sara Eckel’s

⭐. Her emphasis is on romantic relationships, not sex, but there is quite a bit of overlap, particularly regarding the pressure to be “coupled up” by a certain age.

⭐The author presents the information in a clear and approachable way. The inclusion of personal anecdotes, both from the author herself and her interviewees, makes it a story about people rather than academic. Many of the ideas she presents I have heard before, but never articulated quite this way, or gathered into a cohesive thesis.My only negative remark is that the extensive questionnaire at the end of the book, along with the cited sources, means that you finish the content well before you’d think. I read this on my Kindle, and the book was done at 65%. I imagine that the print version would be the same.

⭐It’s rare to find a book that’s both intellectually and emotionally satisfying, and this is one of those reads, in the vein of classic works from Naomi Wolf and Betty Friedan. Hills lays out a counterintuitive argument—that sex needn’t be as central to our identity as we’ve constructed it to be—and makes it intuitive by the end, through skilled use of interviews and a wealth of “aha!” moments. It’s also the rare book that truly speaks to a broad swath of people without being too generalized—people who identify as asexual would get as much out of this as people who consider themselves highly sexual, and Hills also manages to simultaneously treat LGBT concerns in context of historical oppression without making queer folks a separate category in her central argument. It managed to lay a hush over a particular sexual anxiety of mine (about my own desirability)—no small feat for a book as rigorously cerebral as this one. Highly recommended.

⭐An excellent book. It felt like a wonderful place to start one’s research on the subject of what sexuality is, and the impact of an artificial, media-made sexuality on the health and wellbeing of those figuring themselves out. The majority of the insight came from interviews and personal stories, rather than a rigorously put together human research study – but that made it very relatable, and very human. I highly recommend.

⭐This book should be compulsory reading in all schools; the ability to construct an identity separate to your sex life (real or imagined) is crucial in creating confident and well-adjusted adults. Teenagers, parents of teenagers, young adults, and adults will benefit from this book’s wisdom.I have recommended the Sex Myth at every dinner party I have attended since I read it. It’s almost impossible to sum it up in just a few sentences, so take the journey and read this book for yourself.

⭐There is no scientific endeavor here. A set of interviews with twenty somethings that voice their discontent with the way society still manages to define roles. It is not new, or revealing, but it is a good, friendly, somewhat empowering read.

⭐Disappointing; does not deliver what it promises. I did not learn anything new in the realm of sex/feminism/politics but the statistics cited in the very opening of the book was the best, and most informative part. Repetitive to take up space. This should have been an article, not a book length expose.

⭐Delivered as promised.

⭐Really enjoyed reading this book. It is an honest, eloquent and in-debt exploration of how we view and talk about sex and our sex lives. Sex is such an emotive part of growing up and becoming an adult, and I am very pleased to come across such a non-pretensious analysis of the personal experiences of the hundreds of people who have approached the author. Their stories only prove that there is no right and wrong way to have sex with other consenting adults, as long as that’s what feels right to us. I was left relieved and feeling a lot more ‘normal’ after reading these stories. The author hits lots of nails on the head with this book and for me the main one is that when, how much and what kind of sex we have does not define us as people nowhere near as much as we often end up believing.The feeling of inadequacy is deeply ingrained in many of us as often parts of our sex lives seemingly contradict the type of people we think we are or want to come across as. For women often this becomes an even bigger dilemma, because we are taught from a very young age about the preconceived ‘good girl-bad girl’ forms of sexual behaviour. Men, on the other hand, are taught that women (certainly the ‘good’ ones) most likely are interested a lot less in having sex, and that exploring ‘kinkier’ sex fantasies with such partners could endanger their relationship with them. It was very interesting to read about the numerous self-imposed restrictions that gays, lesbians, or bi- struggle with.In a society preoccupied with sex, books like this one are a breath of fresh air and provide a much more realistic platform to have a discussion about sex. As a mum of a daughter, I would recommend this a read to any parent to give to their adolescent child to read and discuss with them. It is time we moved on from labelling our behaviour around sex and instead trying to have sex experiences that are satisfying, fun and free from judgement.

⭐Entry level feminism at best, the book said nothing I didn’t already know. However the authors proficient writing skills made sure the book was still entertaining. Probably a more suitable read for those just starting to question the ideals and stereotypes of society. The book did mention asexuality but quite briefly in reference to a persons experience who later decided the label wasn’t for them. Considering the overall tone of the book and the very idea of ‘the sex myth’ itself, I feel asexuality could’ve played a part in the greater argument. The book even talked about trans experiences which was a pleasant surprise.I did have higher hopes for this book but overall, it brought many issues to the mainstream and is still a decent read.

⭐Arrived on in plenty of time and product was of good quality and

⭐Excellente lecture je suis ravie de mon achat je passe de bons moments de lecture .que dire de plus. J’ai adoré la livraison rapide.

⭐Not found.

⭐Very good book.

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