Unbound: A Woman’s Guide to Power by Kasia Urbaniak (PDF)

Description

The ultimate guide to owning your power–and mastering how to use it.How can so many women feel “good and mad” yet still reluctant to speak up in a meeting or difficult conversation? Why do women often feel like they’re too much–and, at the same time, not enough? What causes us, at the most critical moments in our lives, to freeze?Kasia Urbaniak teaches power to women–and her answers to these questions may surprise you. Based on insights from her experiences as a dominatrix, her training to become a Taoist nun, and the countless women she has taught to expand their influence, this book offers precise, practical instruction in how to stand in your power, find your voice, and use it well. Learn how to: Embrace your desires as the pathway to your destiny.Ask for–and get–what you need in your life, work, and in the bedroom.Skillfully navigate hearing “no” and any resistance, even your own.Flip power dynamics when someone crosses your boundaries and puts you on the spot.Create new and expanded roles for the people in your life with precise, targeted asks.Whether you’re getting crystal clear on exactly what you want, or turning the tables on a man who has shut you up and shut you down, Urbaniak’s methods teach women to stand for themselves in every interaction.Part manual, part manifesto, part behind the scenes look, Unbound is a how-to guide to the impossible, the outrageous, the unimaginable–a field guide to living your wildest, best, and most satisfying life.

User’s Reviews

Reviews from Amazon users which were colected at the time this book was published on the website:

⭐I wasn’t sure how this book would go. Being from the south, this book prickled me a lot and made me squirm, but I couldn’t get enough. I’m going to re-read it, do the exercises, and keep it as a reference when I need the strength to ask hard things. I love everything about this book and this author. I highly recommend this book

⭐This book has been wonderful for helping me to rethink how I interact with people and how I can ask for what I want without fear of upsetting those around me.

⭐I am not sure how I stumbled upon Unbound by Kasia Urbaniak, but I am thankful to have read this book. The lessons inside Unbound are life-changingKasia is a former dominatrix and trained Taoist nun, which may seem like a paradox, but she expertly melds these seemingly opposite practices to teach women how to communicate and persuade from a place of power.Unbound is a practical guide with no fluff. You’ll know exactly how to implement the lessons Kasia presents in her book. She also weaves in stories of her former students to help illustrate her point.I especially love how Kasia teaches us how to respond when someone asks a question that normally freezes us. Hint: It’s all about asking a question back. You’ll have to read Unbound for a more in-depth description, but trust me when I say, you’ll love having this tool in your back pocket. I’ve already used Kasia’s technique with great success!My big takeaways:#1: Submissive doesn’t mean weak.I’ll admit I usually turn my nose up at the term submissive. It feels like a loss of power and strength. Thanks to Kasia’s lessons, I now know that submissive is a strong, powerful position – one that can help you get what you want in ways that feel empowering.#2: Ask without reservation.Kasia writes, “Women often hesitate to ask because they have been trained to believe that asking will create an implied debt…” (page 138)Ding, ding, ding!I am the queen of the Internal Scorecard. And I often don’t want to ask for something because I worry about how I will have to “pay it back.”But I am worthy of asking without fear of what the payback will be, or if the payback will even occur. (You are too!)Loud Woman, let’s not be afraid of asking. Let’s know we are worthy of asking for what we want, need, or deserve. And if someone thinks you owe them something that you don’t want to deliver, you can say no. Period.Final thoughts:If you want to learn about how to speak from a place of power, or how to handle tough situations (especially with men), or how to stick up for yourself, then be sure to add Unbound to your reading list. This is content you probably have never read before, but once you’ve read it, you wonder how you have lived your life without it.

⭐Couldn’t put it down – such an important read for anyone, regardless of gender.

⭐beyond stellar guidance on reclaiming power. highly recommended.

⭐Loved it so much I purchased 2 more copies for my friends! Definitely recommend reading it!

⭐The most striking thing about this extraordinary book is how emphatically practical it is. The power is in the practicing of simple and effective tools that break women out of habitual and conditioned behaviors and responses. And the tools are so clearly described! I’ve never read anything before that gave me such a clear roadmap to where I want to be and such precise and easy to follow directions for how to get there. Any tool seems to take only a few minutes and Kasia Urbaniak gives concrete examples of the results her students have experienced from practicing them. I realized while reading this amazing book that I am incredibly good at having my attention out on my son. I’ve started using some of the tools with him as a way to help him get more in touch with his desires after noticing how much the frustration about not being able to connect to what’s really going on for him (or the frustration over not being able to express it) is affecting him and his relationships (and also then creating all kinds of emotional labor for me). And I watch with gratitude and awe as his knots come untangled. It’s really incredible. I want every woman I know to read this. Everyone is getting a copy.A few highlights:A description about what you can observe happening in someone else’s body as they experience different specific emotions. So useful.“When a woman knows what she likes, what would fulfill her, what would make her happy—which direction she wishes to grow in next—she is mapping her destiny.”Self celebration. I’ve used this technique and have seen how profoundly EVERYTHING can shift in mere minutes.I’ve also bought the audiobook (Kasia’s voice is a pleasure to listen to) and can tell I’m going to be giving this a listen and will read it again repeatedly. It is so rich, so deeply generous and makes me feel prepared. I’m so grateful to have found it.

⭐Loved this book. The juxtaposition between the author practicing as a dominatrix and studying to be a Taoist nun was fascinating to me, for a start. Her insights on the patriarchal society we live in, and how women can become more powerful within it weren’t new – but the way she phrased them and set them out was. Really great read, and I’ve recommended it to lots of other women!

⭐What a great book. Kasia has nailed a really really important thing and walks you through the how tos. It is an easy read, and well written. Her own character really comes through her writing – this is a special woman who absolutely conveys her ideas with every fibre of her being. It is so good, that I have recommended it to many of my female friends as well as some of my male friends. Despite being aimed at women, the principles are relevant to a lot of people, regardless of gender. I have certainly been educated and enriched by reading it and I think anyone would be. It is relevant, helpful, interesting, important and fun! I love it! Highly recommended. I would go so far as to say it is essential reading if you want your life to improve and to feel you have more agency with your responses to even tough situations and difficult people. An absolute gem of a book. Can’t recommend it highly enough!

⭐I love this woman, I have attended some of her classes and her passion is infectious! She has helped me see how I give power to others and how I can keep it for myself, whilst respecting those around me and giving them the opportunity to own their own power too! She has freed me from the chains that I put on myself and has given me more self worth and confidence to go after what I want. I highly recommend lapping up anything Kasia has to offer.. she makes the invisible visible, giving you choices, and opportunity to be big, instead of making yourself small so as not to intimidate or out shine others. Thank you Kasia, you are one amazing woman!

⭐I found this book so useful that I feel compelled to leave a review! I’ve been on assertiveness courses at work, read plenty of books about leadership and also my fair share of popular psychology books but this book had a completely fresh perspective and ideas – it’s not just recycling the same material that everybody else is. It has totally changed many of my interactions and helped me find a courage that I didn’t have before.The book talks about the difference between submissive states and dominant states and essentially how to talk and behave in each of those and how they are embodied in terms of attention and how to use both in positive and healthy ways. It also talks about how not to send confusing signals by combining submissive and dominant attention/behaviour.The ideas are very influenced by Taoism, but she doesn’t discuss that much – I can see it might put people not already interested there off. I didn’t find her parallel background as a dominatrix an issue – indeed it only really comes up in a few places and the examples she gave from that side of her life probably illustrated some things better than tamer examples might have done! Overall, it feels like an extremely empowering and feminist book.Many of the exercises are generally intended to be done with a friend or group, so not easy to do by yourself, but I still got lots out of the book despite skipping those.Overall, this book was a massive game-changer for me and made me realise some of the things that I had been doing wrong but hadn’t been able to put my finger on.

⭐At first I thought this book was fantastic but the more I read the more I realised that the author takes from her life experience as a Dominatrix.Personally I believe this is not an empowering thing. When any person allows another human being they do not care about to get a sexual thrill from them that’s not a balance of power. That’s someone receiving compensation for permitting rape, sexual assault or sexual objectification of them as an individual.wonenFor that reason the I believe the authors credibility is null and void when it comes to discussing empowering women.It may be PC to talk about prostitution and any sexual behaviour requiring compensation for it to occur as if it is acceptable and somehow empowering. It’s not. It reduces people to things with orifices. Or bodies whos owners personality and emotions are utterly irrelevant to the person using them as a thing to get off on. Violent assault and abuse of persons who do this for income is widespread and frequent.

⭐That’s the freeze… Kasia explains this and other phenomenon in this book that keep women constrained and simple skills to break through and become agents of our own authority.It’s time to stand our ground.It’s not just a book. It’s a growing community of powerful women. Women who aren’t hell bent on destroying men but who are able to give and take what they want in any situation.Reading it and putting the exercises into practice is making a huge difference in my life. I’ve already ordered another 5 copies to give to friends.

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