It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy by Greg Behrendt (PDF)

Description

A must-have manual for finding your way back to an even more rocking you. Greg and his wife, Amiira, share their hilarious and helpful roadmap for getting past the heartache and back into the game. From Greg Behrendt, the co-author of the smash two-million copy bestseller He’s Just Not That Into You, comes It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken.There’s no doubt about it—breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there’s one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can’t and shouldn’t be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. Starting right here, right now, it’s time to dry your tears, and open this book to Chapter One–and start turning your breakup into a breakover.The ultimate survival guide to getting over Mr. Wrong and reclaiming your inner Superfox. From how to put yourself through “he-tox,” to how to throw yourself a kick-ass pity party, and reframing reality— seeing the relationship for what it was. Complete with an essential workbook to help you put your emotions down on paper and heal.

User’s Reviews

Editorial Reviews: Review “You will get through this, and you’ll do it faster with the help of It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken.” —Glamour“Insightful, been-there-have-the-scars-to-prove-it wisdom.” —New York Post About the Author Comedian Greg Behrendt is the coauthor of the two-million-copy bestseller He’s Just Not That Into You. His acclaimed stand-up comedy has been seen on HBO, Comedy Central Presents . . . , The Tonight Showwith Jay Leno, Late Show with David Letterman, and Late Night with Conan O’Brien. A former consultant on Sex and the City, he lives with his wife, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt, in Los Angeles with their two children. Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. Chapter One IT’S CALLED A BREAKUP BECAUSE IT’S BROKEN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAHHHHHHH! F***, it hurts. It’s rocking the very core of your being. You never saw it com­ing. You knew this was going to happen. You were going to do it first. You only broke it off with him before he broke it off with you. You guys were supposed to be together forever. You never liked him that much anyway. He was such a great kisser. The sex wasn’t that great. You really liked his family. He hated your friends. You hated his shoes. You miss him soooooo much. There’s no doubt about it–breakups suck. And now here you are holding this stupid “Breakup Book” because, quite honestly, you’d do anything not to feel like this and maybe this book will shed some light on what you’re going through. Maybe you’ll get some sleep tonight. Or stop sleeping all the time. In these first few hours or days or weeks of your breakup, there’s one all-important truth that you need to recognize: Some things can’t and shouldn’ t be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. It’s over for a reason, and even if you’re in denial about it, deep down inside you prob­ably know what that reason is. Even if you feel baffled by his decision to end it, it boils down to the same thing every time: Your relationship, despite its promise, has ceased to be right for one or both of you. It is, in effect, broken. That doesn’t make the breakup any easier to handle or change the overwhelming nature of the sadness that you feel. But that sadness, in turn, doesn’t make it less broken. If you’ve reached this point, where one or both of you feel that walking away is the best course of action, the cracks are there. And starting today, you’re not the kind of woman who settles for broken or hangs on to damaged goods, be it a radio, a pair of shoes, or a relationship. Your life is not a yard sale. It’s time to get rid of all the broken stuff that you’ve been lugging around for days, months, and maybe even years, and make the bold decision to start looking for stuff that works. The bright, clean, simple, easy, runs-so-smoothly-I-don’t-even-have-to-think-about-it kind of works. Being the first one to recognize that a relationship isn’t a match doesn’t win you any great prize—just the guilt of having to hurt someone’s feelings. So even though you are clearly wounded, getting out of this bro­ken relationship is the best thing possible, even if you didn’t know it was broken until now. “But some things can be fixed,”you say. True, but can your rela­tionship be fixed? Anything is possible, but we’d say probably not. Generally, if one person thinks that the breakup is the right move, they’re probably right even if it feels so wrong. Because unless there are two people putting on the coveralls and getting down in the trenches with some duct tape and superglue and a fierce determination, it isn’t going to happen. Need more convincing? How about this: The person you loved took a good long look at the awesomeness that is you, evaluated your relationship together, and said, “No, thanks. I’ll try my luck elsewhere.” Or you said it to him. Either way, that alone should make you realize that it wasn’t a match made in heaven and they’re not worth donning coveralls for. Anyone who assesses you or your relationship as disposable is not worthy of your time or tears. Right now, your mind is probably working overtime to come up with all the reasons that you should still be together. Your heart is hurting and your mind wants to find a way to undo the pain. Just remember, though, that any reasons you come up with are ultimately irrelevant. The harsh reality is that even if you have everything else in common, the one thing you don’t have in common is the belief that this relationship can work. That, my friend, trumps your shared love of puppies, The Dave Matthews Band, and Mexican food. It’s hard not to rack your brain, searching for reasons why the two of you couldn’t make it work, but sometimes the only real answer is the simplest one: People come together and move apart. It’s the age-old ebb and flow of relationships. Some are shorter journeys, and others were meant for a lifetime. That goes for friendships as well. We become attached to what’s familiar and sometimes we hold on to things that are safe and predictable even if they’re bad for us. A lot of the pain you are experiencing right now is actually fear. Fear of things being different than how you liked them, fear of never finding another love, fear of being alone, fear of having to fill your time differently. We’re afraid of the unknown. The answer to all the questions swirling in your head—What will I do on weekends? Will I meet someone else?—is “You won’t know until you get there.” That’s hard, and it’s scary. But for the moment, you need to concentrate on what you do know—that you and he no longer share the belief that your rela­tionship has a future. It’s broken, and the longer you stay stuck in a dead-end relationship or spend your days mourning one, the less time you get on this planet to experience a great one. So take a deep breath, steel yourself, and realize that this is going to hurt for a while. There is no quick remedy for the pow­erful sting of heartbreak, though we’re going to try to make it easier for you throughout the book. You’re going to feel like crap head to toe and run the gamut of emotions. Edgy, moody, angry, depressed, nauseated—you name it. In fact, the amount of time it takes for you to start feeling great about yourself again is directly proportional to how much it sucks right now—especially if you weren’t the one who broke it off. Because at the end of the day, someone you loved, trusted, and valued has rejected you, and that really smarts. It’s hard to not take it personally. But—and here’s the important part—the fact of the matter is, they’re wrong about you. Just because your relationship is broken doesn’t mean you are! No matter what happened between you, no mat­ter what you may or may not have done wrong, you are still a kick-ass person. And even though you might not believe it right now, this breakup is the fi rst step toward finding someone truly worthy of your greatness. But Greg, I’ve Got Questions But how can a relationship just break with no warning? Dear Greg, My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and have always had the perfect relationship. We moved in together last year and he started talking about getting mar­ried, having kids, the whole deal. He even took me to look at engagement rings a few weeks before Christmas, so naturally I assumed what would be under the Christmas tree for me. Since I thought I was getting an engagement ring, I maxed out my credit card to buy him a plasma TV for Christmas. Well, Christmas morning comes and he was shocked when he opened the plasma TV. But that was nothing compared to the shock when I opened his gift—a cashmere sweater and a necklace! What? Then, the next day, he tells me he’s not sure “I’m the one” and he thinks I should move out and we should take a break so he can figure some things out!! Now he’s got the apartment and the plasma TV that I’ll be paying off for the rest of my life. I’ve tried to remind him of how good we were together and that getting married was his idea, but he just keeps apologizing and telling me he needs time apart. How can somebody go from wanting to marry you to not even wanting to talk to you for no reason? What can I do to make him realize that we should be together? Please write back. Marla Dear Plasma Giver, First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you’re married. (My grandmother used to say that.) A lot of men think once they have a plasma TV they don’t need a girlfriend. Sounds like your boy-friend’s one of them. The truth is that if he’ s going to come to the conclusion that you guys should be together, he’s going do it on his own. There’s nothing you can do to make him want to be with you, and more important, want to marry you. One of the suckiest and most frustrating facts of life is that sometimes rela­tionships just end, often without reason. I truly believe that some­times both men and women simply run out of love, even when there was a lot of it in the beginning. What blows even more is that you were completely blindsided—even though the relationship was bro­ken on his end, he had clearly led you to believe you were in the same place emotionally. What a shitty new reality for you to get your head around now. But the sooner you do, the sooner you can get your head around this great new thought: HEY, SUPERFOX, YOU ARE HEADED SOMEWHERE FABULOUS AND THERE ARE GREAT POSSIBILITIES AHEAD. You should also let him know that the proper etiquette is that if a girl breaks off an engagement she should give back the ring. If a man breaks up with you, he should give back the TV. But why didn’t he just break up with me instead of making me do it? Read more

Reviews from Amazon users which were colected at the time this book was published on the website:

⭐Before I review this book…I would like to get a major pet peeve off my chest. I read some of the reviews before I started writing this and came across a review where the person had not read the whole book yet wrote a review. I would like to say that a review is where you read the WHOLE BOOK and then criticize it all you like…not read it halfway through and feel that writing a review is credible. It is not. The point of a review is to offer up your point of view which is not possible if you haven’t read the whole book.Now that I have said that…I thought this book was terrific. Whether you dislike Greg using the word Superfox or not…the book was insightful, funny, compassionate and didn’t offer the same platitudes or psychobabble that one encounters in other books of this genre.Greg and Amiira did not write this book from some lofty ivory tower. They have been in the trenches like a lot uf us. Greg drank and chased after his ex until he finally saw the light at the end of a very long tunnel and got into AA.Amiira was married and while not as destructive as Greg…her pain, misery [and sleepless nights] are nearly as poignant as Greg’s.I have read this book three times and found something new to hold on to each time I read it.Some of the elements I particularly liked in this book start with the questions to Greg and his answers…sometimes tart [“how about pretending not to be completey crazy” he says to one woman in the throes of…well..acting completely crazy] were always enlightening.I also enjoyed “The Best Worst News”, and “What I Did Wrong” where Greg and Amiira share…what they did wrong.”Psycho Confessionals” was actually great fun to read because while a lot of us have gone off the deep end when we are going through a break up…not all of us have gone to the extent some of these women have. I have offered up a silent prayer of thanks that while I thought I might go nuts…I never showed up at his door acting like it.One very smart idea that Greg and Amiira came up with was after giving advice on what you should do in the recovery proces… and while you are in the midst of moaning to yourself that you can’t possibly do that…they offer up “How The Hell Am I Supposed To Do That” because they understand exactly how hard it is.My story ends a little differently because my boyfriend and I actually got back together. But here is where the book is a treasure for another reason. Instead of spending my time when I am not with my boyfriend…obsessing about my boyfriend [something I have done in every past relationship] I am using all the breakup rules they have as if we had really broken up and have re-connected with old friends…started exercising again and am completely re-organizing my life…all off which had fallen completely by the wayside as my concentration was centered around him.If my boyfriend and I had not gotten back together…I would have been able to handle it without going completely to pieces [after I initially went completely to pieces] and the fact that we have gotten back together…I am now handling the relationship and my life differently…thanks to this book.In my opinion…this is the definitive book on breaking up and I would like to thank both Greg and Amiira for helping me tremendously both during during the break up and how I have handled myself since.So to my surprise…this book actually works on more then one level.

⭐I think Greg has great intentions with his book, but it’s so similar to his first book, same set-up and style. Don’t get me wrong, I think he does a great service esp for us women because we’re too understanding, too nice, or whatever the case may be. I thought his first book was a God-send, but this one was kind of more of the same stuff. I don’t discount his advice, but there’s something missing; there’s no positive focus on when it might be right to work it out or why it’s important and healthy to want to talk things out. A person is not weak for wanting to understand “what happened.” It’s when someone goes overboard and won’t let go, and I realize that is probably the emotional starting point for this book.I realize, from my own recent experience, that some people (not just men) can be present during the course of a breakup and there are those who simply check out and run away. Greg seems to focus on just that one type of person. And so I think his advice is on target when it comes to the emotionally spineless person who runs from a breakup; the kind who sends all kinds of mixed signals and then blindsides the person who is in love with them. It happened to me, and I understand the pain of that kind of breakup. I tried to talk to my boyfriend and he wouldn’t see me or talk to me. It was the shock of my life; I never saw it coming, truly. If I have anything to pass on, it is important to hold yourself in as much dignity as possible; but don’t beat yourself up if you email him or call; you’re human and you are hurt and it is natural and healthy to want to understand what happened, esp if you never saw it coming.Again, I’m not discounting the advice Greg gives here; I just found it to be more of the same stuff from his first book.But the best advice is to remember that you are a superfox and don’t waste the pretty. For those of you hurting, you are not alone; it sucks; you will get over it, it just takes time and that’s the hard part, and I know you want to know so badly what he (or she) is thinking. And when that person refuses to be present or emotionally available that’s a whole other level of rejection to deal with.This too shall pass, and there is someone out there who will see you for the awesome person you are. Greg is right on that one. Focus your energy on that reality, and slowly you’ll forget the nightmare you just went through. The more you can focus on attracting the love you deserve, and giving your attention to that, the more you will see your break up was probably a blessing. Time moves slowly for the brokenhearted … I know.

⭐This book really helped me to open my eyes one day and everything (read: that jackass who disappeared from my life) what was on my mind became about 1000x smaller and actually not important.I ended up my long relationship (>10 years) and didn’t suffer as much as after a year being with somebody with whom I thought things were just great and I felt so myself for the first time in my life. And so did he, apparently. Until one day out of nowhere he decided this is not his place to be here, he needed more space and moved out in 10min. In COVID full lockdown, stage 4. Yes that much of respect I had from him. And the Foxy-me would have closed that chapter of my life, turned around and started my real life. But somehow I was brainwashed I can’t actually explain it differently. I was devastated, didn’t go to work for weeks, didn’t eat, drank like crazy, smoked like a dragon, cried, had permanent insomnia, lose lost of weight, isolated myself from people, ruined my health, and wait for it…. I still allowed myself to see him, to ‘be with him’ whenever he felt like it. We would see each other twice a week, then he would not talk to me for days between that, then we would see each other once a week, and then he was quiet. The silent days became longer and more profound. He would come whenever he wanted sex, sometimes I hated it but still agreed to it. He wasn’t even sure if he loved me, blaming him being ‘troubled’ on how horrible he treated me. He made himself a victim in many peoples eyes, he was so troubled so broken yet he couldn’t let me free. He couldn’t do the one thing that he owed me. To tell me: this is over I’m sorry. Instead I heard: till I fix myself I can’t be what you need. etc. My brain was on fire. My heart was broken yet full of false hopes. Yes you could ask: how did you allow this all? I ask myself this exact question today. But I was brainwashed by this narcissistic guy, who looking now from a perspective actually never really treated me right. The red lights were all over even at the beginning of our relationship. And also so was that deep gut feeling saying: you can’t trust him, don’t fell for him, don’t lose yourself in this. He knew I had these worries as I told him and he worked through them to make me his and vulnerable. He cheated on me in the first two months of our relationship with his ex. Apologised said how much he loved me. Then there was more drama on that side. And more. And then the only good thing about everything was probably sex but well now thinking of it it wants even that good, I can find good sex elsewhere right?But while going through break up, there is time for drinking and time for this book. I didn’t have it at the beginning of my agony. So I can’t say if it would work, but I can definitely say that my best friend literally said the same things to me at the beginning what Greg said in this book and although it made sense and made me laugh a little bit, it was not the time for my brain to actually believe it. My brain was in denial, all I was thinking was that he would fix himself and things will be good again. We really live in some weird utopian state when hurt by somebody we loved. And I say it again here: loved. What we loved is gone, even if he/she comes back it is a different person and parallel life, we may not love that person anymore or we may longe for the past which will never come back with him/her or without them. So this book is great, it is witty, funny, I cried from laughter while reading it in two days. And I also felt a bit better about myself that I managed to not go crazy, Yes I let him treat me like dirty, I’m already embarrassed about that but I never went running after him, threatening him, spying, or asking his friends about his life, lurking around his place, telling him I need him to live, even though it felt like this for about 3 months. I wanted to be the better person. The stronger person. The one that values her life. The one that won’t fell as low as to define my self-worth by some guy with no so hard d-^&%. So I suffered in silence with my closest friend and my sister far away from home (continents away) in COVID time. Until I read this book, and while reading it made pauses to think about everything what has happened (the good and the bad) and decided for myself: F that Sh. I don’t deserve it, I’m a good person with so many great values. Yes, I still don’t know what I want in my life but definitely not the last 5 months. I made many new friends literally randomly on the streets and we are still best buddies and growing stronger. I had to I had to break lockdown rules in order to stay sane, I had to reach out like in old days, find people, find my crowd and if I did it in COVId so can anyone. And I avoided Tinder by all means, but I made a few dates and nights with people I knew. First it was bad I couldn’t trust anyone, count open up and even relax. But keep trying and ti will get better. I’m not ready for any relationship atm, what I’m ready for is to establish myself as a independent strong worthy woman and yes (Greg) I did changed my living room totally and yes it helped heaps! It is the oasis of calmness and looks like the Osho’s meditating room/minimalistic freak/plant lover. Read this book with open heart and honesty.

⭐I don’t often write reviews, but this book was so good I just had to pass on my thoughts to others. I read this book from cover to cover in one day and I just can’t believe how helpful it was. There was humour thrown in, but mostly I spent the first have of the book thinking it had been written about me and my break up. I could relate to every story!! The advice given was so helpful (brutal at times) and it a comfort to know that what I was feeling was normal and that so many others had gone through the same emotions as me. Although I read this in one sitting, I often went back to a couple of specific chapters time after time when I needed to remind myself of things. I can’t rate this book highly enough and I think after my friends, this book was what helped me through and allowed me to be in the happy place that I am in 6 months after my breakup

⭐Saved me this book – would recommend to any girl or boy going through a break up! Ive bought this 3 times for my friends and every single one said its their savior! p.s – If your struggling through a breakup YOU WILL BE FINE your not the only one – memories fade!

⭐This year I saw the end of my 3 year relationship with my partner. We was engaged, planning a wedding and I considered this man my soul mate.Sadly he fell out of love with me and back in love with his ex wife. It was difficult and a very hard pill to swallow. To say I was heartbroken was an understatement.I wanted him back, I cried for him, I wanted to be ‘friends’, I may have turned up where he turned up….My friends were the best I could ask for but I could see them getting tired of telling me the same stuff over and over.I decided that enough was enough and I needed to change my mindset. I saw this book and liked the comedy aspect of it.Pros:It changes your way of thinkingIt shows that there is life after a break upOutlines the does and don’ts and tells you why they are the do’s and don’ts.Cons:Too American at times, I don’t need to be told I am Superfox or ‘fabulous’ 100 times. Of course all women are but when dealing with a breakup, I don’t need to be told this…A bit old fashioned, I understand they are writing from the heartbreaks all the way back in the 90’s but I got the impression the book never got away from that. ‘Change your number’ is not as easy as it use to be in the 90’s…It is aimed at the younger audience.What I will say Is that it changed how I thought. It made me understand that the no contact rule is the best rule if you are hurting and need space.You’re not the only one who has been through the same heartbreak and most importantly It gets you to see that there is plenty of other suiters out there….being hung up on an ex actually stops you seeing those suiters.Did this book work? Yes, it made me endure the no contact rule, I reconnect with friends and mostly importantly I am dating again and don’t feel guilty.I liked the book and it’s one I shall keep and give out to others if they should ever suffer a breakup.

⭐I really needed this. Tells you everything you need to hear and covers all aspects/feelings you experience post breakup. It’s written as if you are being told by a funny but incredibly honest friend. Breakups can be lonely times and reading a chapter every night was like speaking to a friend, so it’s good if you (like me) weren’t ready to speak about it to friends, or perhaps your friends don’t give good advice/don’t exist. It helped me so much, and I feel that it has sped up the healing process. It literally tells you what to do, gives example, tell you how to implement the advice into your life and has funny ‘crazy ex’ stories to make you laugh and feel better about yourself. I cannot recommend this book enough, and whenever I feel low I re-read certain chapters. I will honestly pass this down to my children, it’s great. Arrived on estimated date and looked like new (no tear-stained pages)! Only issue with the book (for some) is that it is very much orientated towards being a girl who has been dumped, so maybe some guys will feel alienated but I’m sure you can get used to it.

Keywords

Free Download It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy in PDF format
It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy PDF Free Download
Download It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy 2006 PDF Free
It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy 2006 PDF Free Download
Download It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy PDF
Free Download Ebook It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy