The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm | (PDF) Free Download

Description

The landmark bestseller that changed the way we think about love: “Every line is packed with common sense, compassion, and realism” (Fortune). The Art of Loving is a rich and detailed guide to love—an achievement reached through maturity, practice, concentration, and courage. In the decades since the book’s release, its words and lessons continue to resonate. Erich Fromm, a celebrated psychoanalyst and social psychologist, clearly and sincerely encourages the development of our capacity for and understanding of love in all of its facets. He discusses the familiar yet misunderstood romantic love, the all-encompassing brotherly love, spiritual love, and many more. A challenge to traditional Western notions of love, The Art of Loving is a modern classic about taking care of ourselves through relationships with others by the New York Times–bestselling author of To Have or To Be? and Escape from Freedom. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erich Fromm including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.

User’s Reviews

Reviews from Amazon users which were colected at the time this book was published on the website:

⭐Published in 1956, the entirety of this work postulates love as an art, one which requires practice and for it to be successful a certain degree of attained maturity. As an art it requires knowledge and effort. Fromm makes allusions to modern cultures starvation for love – `trashy songs’, happy and unhappy cinema – and states that most people assume it is something we `fall into’ as opposed to the more realistic `standing in’ and that a `mature love is union under the condition of preserving one’s integrity, one’s individuality.’ (265).This is certainly a difficult read if you’re not prepared, if you’re not to some degree `mature’ as Fromm posits. Also of notable difficulty are Fromm’s concern with machination, automation and the anologies he draws from the capitalistic market unto man. It’s easy to see how the two correlate, and I do feel it’s an apt description, but I could also see how people unobservant to how our society functions might miss the parallels. Fromm is also very concerned with parables of the religious sort, which may deter some people from investing in the work as a whole, however, remember this is about `love’, first and foremost. Something we all need to remain cognizant of and practice daily.POTENTIAL SPOILERS:In popular cultural belief being lovable means an admixture between being popular and having sex appeal. But because love requires a mastery of theory and then mastery of practice it takes much work and resultantly, many failures. The third part of love, after theory and practice, is that it must be a matter of utmost concern. It requires devotion to order its success as an art. Of our culture Fromm states `in spite of the deep-seated craving for love, almost everything else is considered to be more important than love’ (93). The ultimate goal of love is to overcome man’s separateness from the rest of the world as `the deepest need of man, then, is the need to overcome his separateness, to leave the prison of his aloneness.’ (127) Fromm also speaks about relevant psychiatric issues and drug abuses that stem from too grand a sense of isolation from fellow man and the desire, more often than not, for conformity (read `Escape from Freedom’). However, aside from connections to the world through work, play, forced adherence to societal rules, or adopting the herd mentality, `the full answer lies in the achievement of interpersonal union, of fusion with another person, in love.’ (232).Object vs. function – most Western culture sees love as easy, it’s the object of love which is difficult, and often transient. The true function of love is meant to be separate from the object, for a person is not a thing as we see `things’ in the Western world. Because of this love is treated the same as commodities on the market – buying into the best available option, then upgrading when the time is right.Persons who `fall in love’ and mistake this feeling for love, gradually begin to tire of the person and seek another such experience which they hope will endure, of this Fromm says `this type of love is by its very nature not lasting.’ (74) Love is an activity, not a passive affect and it is `primarily giving, not receiving.’ (286).Prerequisites of maintaining love are a capacity to love one’s neighbor, true humility, courage, faith and discipline. To these are the important practicable concepts of care, responsibility, respect and knowledge. Love is one path which can be utilized to know thyself, to know some of the secrets of the individual and thereby the secrets of humankind.At the end of section one Fromm takes a shot at Freud for being too shallow, and for not investigating the occurrence of sexual-polarity present in both genders.Fromm covers:Love between parent and child – key to this notion are the ideas that a mother’s love is unconditional and cannot be earned, if it need be earned then it is already gone. A child is loved because they are, because they exist, not because of any potentiality. This is part of a child’s development until about the age of 10, at which point they transition to practice loving instead of just being loved. Fromm also differentiates the different types, paternal (training in the world, love on condition, `deserved’ love) and maternal (again, unwarranted, unconditional love). An interesting postulate arises, that of `milk and honey’ as it relates to the promised land (yes, Fromm gets quite theological at times). `Milk’ is to represent the care and affirmation (a mother’s milk) and `honey’ is to represent the sweetness of life, the good feelings toward the world, an unjaded perspective, a happiness wrought from being alive.Brotherly love – love that is given to the whole of mankind, for we are all in this struggle together.Erotic love – that between two sexually exclusive partners, `it is also perhaps the most deceptive form of love there is.’ (661) Most often after a stranger has become known and the `falling in love’ phase is over, there is nothing further to learn and the relationship sputters out. For most the intimacy remains only in sexual contact. Erotic love `is exclusive only in the sense that I can fuse myself fully and intensely with one person only.’ (693) It’s sole premise exists in `that I love from the essence of my being – and experience the other person in the essence of his or her being.’ (696) Loving a single person in this manner is a choice, a judgment and a promise, and because of the highly differentiated aspects between certain individuals and because of this Fromm states that an individual is neither wrong nor right in maintaining or dissolving a relationship that presents as unsuccessful.Self-love – This is not to be confused with egoism or narcissism. To adequately love anybody, we must also and foremost love ourselves. It is not a crime to do so and in fact, if we don’t love ourselves we are completely incapable of loving anybody else maturely – `love toward themselves will be found in all those who are capable of loving others.’ (738)Love of God – Fromm differentiates between the matriarchical and patriarchical forms of religion, with the matriarchy coming first. This again references the types of love each God would distribute toward his `children’. Fromm himself postulates that God is a non-interventionalist, and that most mature people would see it this way. He also delves into the paradoxical logic of being and not being at the same instance, an impossibility using rational, stereotypical logic. Most importantly, regarding religion and love in general – `a knowledge not in right though but in right action’ is the way in which to determine all proper motive. In our Western culture, belief in God is a thought process, much less an action process.Section III: The Disintegration of Love in the Western SocietyFurther elaborates upon the notion of love as a commodity which can be exchanged and traded much like current market trends. Fromm also touches upon the general disconcertion people have toward being alone, but failing to realize that from this place, only, can they truly love another person. Fromm also makes sure to point out that sex IS NOT love, nor is viewing a relationship as `team-work’. Disipline, concentration and patience and a great sense of humility are necessary here, as in love with all mankind.Most importantly all of this practice requires faith. The ability to step outside yourself, release your story and just believe, blindly… very hard to do, must needs practice, hence love surely is – an art.Quotes:`There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love.’ (79)`Love is the active concern for the life and the growth of that which we love. Where this active concern is lacking, there is no love.’ (338)`One loves that for which one labors, and one labors for that which one loves.’ (349)`Mature love says: I need you because I love you.’ (514).`If I truly love on person I love all persons. I love the world, I love life. If I can say to somebody else, “I love you”. (584)`One other frequent error must be mentioned here. The illusion, namely, that love means necessarily the absence of conflict.’ (1255)`Love, experienced thus, is a constant challenge; it is not a resting place, but a moving, growing, working together; even whether there is harmony or conflict, joy or sadness, is secondary to the fundamental fact that two people experience themselves from the essence of their existence’ (1265)

⭐Great information sometimes comes in small packages. To really understand love is what the world needs in my humble opinion, and this little book is an excellent guide.Detailing how most of us view it, and what it actually is and the different forms that exist. For me I’m learning my strengths and areas of weakness so I can be better with myself, my family and that will for sure extend into my world.

⭐I am teaching senior citizens the art of listening and the power of community. Fromm’s book is part of the curriculum.

⭐According Fromm’s book, to love not only implies an action (not a passion) but also faith in one’s own love, namely, in its ability to produce love in others. Beyond the discussion how love is conceived for a mature person or an inmature person, it is quite interesting to make an auto-analysis of how we conduct our own relationships in terms of fatherly love (conditional) or motherly love (unconditional).I have to admit that when i was reading this book i questioned myself many times if i have ever really loved and if i am actually able to do it. Trying to find and answer for these questions can be undoubtely despairing and tiring.

⭐My first encounter with “The Art of Loving” was as a second-year college student in 1967. (I know… a long time ago…) It had a big effect on me then, and an even bigger effect on me when I reread the whole thing about 15 years later. In between, I always had it nearby, and would read excerpts now-and-then. Certainly, I do not buy into his comments blindly, but I find enough that resonates with my life to make it valuable enough to keep around.Now, 30 years later, I’m about to read it from cover-to-cover again, and I expect that I’ll see it differently-again. I’ll be looking backward more than forward to see if I’ve lived my life as I set out to when I was 30-something. One of the characteristics Fromm says we need is maturity in order to truly love. I imagine that those who found the book less-than-stellar, were not mature enough. Not in a way that means we cannot handle responsibility and such, but that our level of introspection has not changed, and that we are not mature philosophically or spiritually. I have to be ready to read and understand the writings, just as I have to be ready to go to a counselor to get the most benefit from counseling.I am very much a global learner and believe that Big Ideas can – and do – drive our small choices. When I read this idea expressed so well in “The Art of Loving”, it was the beginning of formalizing my personal philosophy. Whatever I choose as my Life’s Goal will guide my decisions about (almost) everything. Powerful stuff and not for the feint of heart.

⭐Everyone who writes about philosophy, psychology, or rational faith is a prisioner of their time and culture. The fact that this reads so differently today than it did in the 1960s can in fact support Fromm’s thesis. One has to overlook some of his assumptions about women, and his small and misguided statement about homosexuality…but these two assumptions in themselves prove that mankind is able to overcome once held beliefs and come to a better concept of justice and mercy and the capacity to engage in “brotherly love”.Rational faith and mature love of God does allow us to see the dignity and potential in our fellow humans. Having this faith and belief does not imply that we will not be disappointed in the flaws of others; nor that man always rises to his better nature.The fact that one does not have to be male of female to express Motherly or Fatherly love, does not change the fact that these modes of Loving are not defined correctly.His thesis still stands. It is worth a thoughtful read, or revisiting, especially at this time in our culture, when self-defined Christians find the words of Christ to be the antithesis of their beliefs. This book can help us to establish better internal truths to ensure more productive and balanced lives.

⭐The Art of Loving’ contains some beautiful, timeless and universal ideas about what it means to love and to be loved. These are made all the more powerful by the clear and direct way the book is written. However, these ideas are applied within a narrow world-view based on heteronormative Christian values. This needn’t be a problem in itself but, disappointingly, the author expresses dangerously dated homophobic, sexist and patriarchal ideas within this framework.Among some of the problematic areas are:- A father’s love can never be unconditional and fathers have very little connection with the child in the first years of its life.- Gay people will always suffer and never experience true love because a genuine balance of the masculine and feminine cannot be achieved.- Patriarchal views of women as housewives and men as breadwinners, alarmingly backed up by a quote from Rumi.- This is essentially a book about how to love but supported almost exclusively by insights from other men. Many writers, academics, scientists and philosophers are referenced in the book but only one is female.The book therefore needs to be read with an acknowledgement of its 1950s prejudices and limitations (incidentally many of which actually undermine the author’s hypotheses based on ‘loving they neighbour’). It should not be approached as a timeless and unquestionably relevant self-help book on love.

⭐Perhaps the most important – and beautiful – book I’ve ever read … This represents the culmination of Fromm’s work, distilled into a single, unified argument: love is (or ought to be) the essential feature of human life. The premise of this book, together with its key tenets, is of primary importance. While some minor aspects of this work are now dated, it remains – for the most part – a timeless classic. This book offers guidance concerning how to understand and practice loving relations. Although quite short, the reader is nonetheless presented with a wealth of knowledge. It’s written for the layperson, and doesn’t require any expertise.

⭐I like how you don’t get a definite answer.While there are many ideas with profound ramifications about one’s existence you will undoubtedly find in this book, the bit that really made me ponder on the subject is how Erich disects the history, the archetypes, the misunderstandings and the application of love. You will find references to the bible and references to capitalism, and these optics are welded to define context for how “love” strolled through centuries and carried humanity forward.Before deciding to read this book I urge you to write down your own understanding on the topic. Then read the book and read back your old understanding as you might be surprised or even feel in a certain way.Last but not least, the author breaks down the mastery of the art of love, where “practicing discipline, concentration and patience throughout every phase of life” is a prerequisite. I disagree with this part, i think these prerequisites are actually amplifiers, but not sine qua nons for mastering the art. But that’s exactly the reason i give this book 5 stars, because it challenged my ego and I’ve ended up learning not only about the “art of love” but maybe even more about the “art of being”. After all, isn’t love a by-product of being alive?

⭐It was difficult to read this book because I just couldn’t connect with it at all. Very old fashioned way of thinking, sexist at times. They lost me at mentioning religion and god, which completely discredits the book in my eyes automatically. Wouldn’t recommend, unless you believe in Adam and Eve

⭐I was a little worried the content of this book would be beyond me (having no background or formal education in any of the core subjects such as philosophy, religion and psychoanalysis) but it turned out to be a riveting read. At times a little heavy and requiring a re-read of some paragraphs it nonetheless avoids any jargon and seems to do a good job of justifying all of the points made.It is at heart more a book about what love can considered to be rather than a manual on how to love better. The latter being given only a short section at the back and concentrating on techniques not unlike meditation (mostly along the theme of living the life that is now, being open in spirit and being honest with yourself, who you should learn to love first).The descriptions of various types of love and what can and does go wrong in childhood are fascinating. I am sure most of us see some of our own lives described. It also touches on sexual deviance as a result of lack of love or avoiding love, plus the impact of both modern society and religion on our capacity to love. I’d particularly credit the author on the chapter on religious love which covers so much ground in such a short space without becoming overly technical.This definitely isn’t a quick fix self help book on how to love better – but as a deep, meaningful and comprehensive journey into what love actually is, a superb read.

Keywords

Free Download The Art of Loving in PDF format
The Art of Loving PDF Free Download
Download The Art of Loving 2013 PDF Free
The Art of Loving 2013 PDF Free Download
Download The Art of Loving PDF
Free Download Ebook The Art of Loving