The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships by Susan Piver (PDF)

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“Susan Piver consistently offers what so many of us seek: A generous, caring, loving teacher, someone with an open heart and a clear mind, eager to help us find our own way forward.” –Seth Godin, author of Linchpin.Broken hearts, resentment, affairs, divorce. Why is it so hard to make relationships work? New York Times bestselling author and mindfulness expert Susan Piver applies classic Buddhist wisdom to modern romance, including her own long-term relationship, to show that ancient philosophies have timeless—and unexpected—wisdom on how to love.The Four Noble Truths of Love will challenge the expectations you have about dating, sex, and romance, liberating you from the habits, traumas, and expectations that have been holding back your relationships. This mindful approach toward love will help you open your heart fearlessly, deepen communications with your partner, increase your compassion and resilience, and lead you toward a path of true happiness. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain: expansive, real love for yourself and others.

User’s Reviews

Editorial Reviews: Review “Susan Piver brings together decades of wisdom and experience from both her Buddhist practice and her relationships. This book is direct, insightful and honest to its core. Using the lens of the Buddha’s noble truths and the path of liberation, Susan presents a practical roadmap that can be accessed by anyone. I don’t think a book quite like this has been written before. She is definitely a wise guide on what it truly means to love altogether and how compassion and insight can be mined from the ups and downs of everyday life and every connection. Susan presents the biggest view possible on what love can be–it’s quite an invitation.” –Josh Baran, author of The Tao of Now: Daily Wisdom from Mystics, Sages, Poets, and Saints “The Four Noble Truths of Love is like the book baby of the Buddha and Oprah Winfrey. It pulls no punches in the best of ways. Chock-full of relationship a-ha moments, it made me reflect not just on my marriage and how to keep deepening into it, but also on every loving relationship in my life. This wisdom may be thousands of years old, but Piver’s ability to convey it with grace, humor, humility, and profound relevance to modern life is a true gift. Get it, read it, live it!” –Jonathan Fields, founder of Good Life Project”Susan Piver consistently offers what so many of us seek: A generous, caring, loving teacher, someone with an open heart and a clear mind, eager to help us find our own way forward.” –Seth Godin, author of Linchpin “If you’ve ever felt that secret shame of not loving well or not managing to embody that perfect detached modern-day Buddha you know you’re supposed to be, this is not only your book, it is your salvation. Susan’s message, voice, and real world guidance show you the way out of the illusions and traps of relationship and into a level of freedom that is at once both profound and practical.” –Christine Kane, founder and CEO of Uplevel You“One of the most exquisitely wise—and comforting—relationship books I’ve ever read. The Four Noble Truths of Love is a lighthouse for the beautiful, murky mess of intimacy; one of those keepers that you wear out and gift to every friend and say, ‘This will help.’ This book has permanent residency on my bedside table so I can keep coming back for Susan’s compassionate reminders: that we are inherently good and our capacity to love is indestructible.” —Danielle LaPorte, author of The Desire Map and White Hot Truth”Susan Piver does far more than tell us how the Four Noble Truths apply to love, she lives that application with great depth and honesty, and lets us come along for the ride. Give your heart–and your capacity to do the toughest spiritual work of all, be in relationship–a gorgeous boost with this brilliant guide.” –Jennifer Louden, author of The Woman’s Comfort Book and The Life Organizer “Susan has combined three threads to give us a beautiful tapestry of spiritually conscious love: We find a clear and in-depth view of Buddhism. We see how it offers a path to intimate love. Susan uses her own relationship as an example of how it all comes together. This is a stand-out book for enriching love and closeness along the spiritual path.” –David Richo, author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving”This is the only book you need for your romantic relationship–it’s just that good. Honest, wise, and raw, Susan will show you the four truths you need to actually make your relationship last.” –Lodro Rinzler, author of Love Hurts: Buddhist Advice for the Heartbroken “Clear and heart-warming, this book is a guide to living relationships completely, with all their pleasures and other- wise. Susan Piver brought the four noble truths to life in her own marriage, and here shares the fullness of that experience. A wonderful read.” –Sharon Salzberg, author of Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection About the Author Susan Piver is the New York Times bestselling author of nine books, including the award-winning “How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life”, “The Wisdom of a Broken Heart”, and “Start Here Now: An Open-Hearted Guide to the Path and Practice of Meditation”. Her new book is “The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships” (June 2018). Piver has been a practicing Buddhist since 1995 and graduated from a Buddhist seminary in 2004. She is an internationally acclaimed meditation teacher, known for her ability to translate ancient practices into modern life. Her work has been featured on the Oprah show, TODAY, CNN, and in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, MONEY, and others. In 2011, she launched the Open Heart Project, the largest virtual mindfulness community in the world.

Reviews from Amazon users which were colected at the time this book was published on the website:

⭐Nearly 2 years ago, I became single for the first time in over 15 years; leaving my second marriage after years of feeling stuck, unhappy, lost, and like I didn’t know what’s wrong with me or if love was even really available for me. I hate to admit it, but in the final few years of my last relationship, I had started to completely believe that being even a LITTLE bit happy in a relationship was not a ‘real thing’. I viewed every relationship I encountered with mistrust, and assumed that both parties must be unhappy. As such, I was very bitter and also just deeply sad about love as a concept. It felt like an impossible dream.Fast forward until now, and I have spent the past several years actively studying, growing, learning, and facing into my own flaws and uncertainties as well as limiting beliefs in this area. It’s been an interesting journey, and incredibly reward, however it wasn’t until I read Susan’s book on the Four Noble Truths of Love that I for the very first time understood that the ‘end goal’ is not some perfect and never disruptive situation with another human being.I can honestly say that my mind was expanded beyond what I believed possible with what Susan shares here, not only because it resonated and just felt RIGHT, but also because it allowed me to see that there’s nothing wrong with me, when there are ups and downs and me being triggered or upset or feeling misunderstood in my current experience of love. I thought that everytime something felt like it wasn’t working it meant I was wrong, or it was wrong! Now, I can see that it’s about the dance. The ebb and the flow. And that even if things feel REALLY messed up, that doesn’t mean it’s not true love. It’s not a reflection of me, OR my worth.This is just such a tiny part of what I’ve gained from this book. The tools, suggestions, explanations, and guidance in here are priceless, and I am about to start reading all over again already. If you’ve ever felt misunderstood in love, deeply sad or frustrated, ‘not good enough’, or ANGRY at why things aren’t the way you want, or if you just want to understand how to give and receive love in a way that you can believe in – read this book.

⭐I am not the self-help book type — if you aren’t as well, then I think you’ll enjoy this book very much. I am also not a Buddhist — that’s not a prerequisite for enjoying the wisdom in this book, either.Susan’s adaptation of the Four Noble Truths to relationships is simultaneously simple and revolutionary. It embraces the vulnerability of loving another, and engages the uncertainty and fear that naturally emerge. Rather than avoiding or reframing these uncomfortable states, Susan illustrates (often from her honest experience) how meditation can provide a path for acknowledging and opening to them. Beyond the framing of loving relationships as the Four Noble Truths, Susan also provides beautiful guidance about how to use meditation and “structured” conversation/attention to more mindfully consider how these truths manifest in our relationships.I also appreciated that Susan was sensitive to the difference between “normal” relationship stresses and abusive behaviors. It can be easy for abused partners to confuse compassion with tolerance or complacency; my own path with meditation (and counseling) allowed me to see the difference, and accept that there are some relationships that cannot be “fixed.” Through her writing and her online Open Heart Project, Susan has helped me develop my meditation practice — she summarizes many of these essentials in this book, but within the context of love, it has taken on a beautiful new dimension for me. This book has helped me embrace love’s uncertainties, find the courage to offer my whole self (including all of my fears and complex feelings), and encouraged me that I can delight in the daily glories (and struggles!) of a loving relationship again.

⭐You cannot get more real than Susan Piver. With a wide-open heart and a tender demeanor, she continues to offer insight and hope to those of us lucky enough to consider ourselves her students. As a member of her beautiful sangha, I’ve had the opportunity to learn and grow from her accessible teaching style and no-nonsense delivery. This book delivers on so many levels. It is a gift from a teacher who was willing to crack open her own relationship and allow us to see inside – an invite that helps us to realize that we are not alone in the struggles that come along with sharing your life with another person. Her wit, humor and candor are refreshing. She has not created a how-to book of hacks to magically improve your relationship. She’s distilled the amazingly complex Four Noble Truths of Buddhism into useful relationship tenets that you can go back to for strength anytime you need them. Leave this on your nightstand and refer back to it when you need the strength and wisdom to navigate the peaks and valleys that accompany all love relationships. Thank you Susan for being so courageous and vulnerable in creating this special teaching.

⭐In this book Susan lovingly guides us to turn towards the innate ups and downs of relationships and to find more ease and joy. It is not a “quick fix”, as she offers no magic relationship tactic, it is a path to accepting what is the natural ebb and flow when two people chose to partner together. The book leads us to open up to appreciating it all, learning to manage our own triggers and to see that the very nature of partnerships can be messy and flawed and joyfully intimate in the many imperfections. Susan’s keen understanding of The Four Noble Truths enables her to bring Buddha’s teachings to us for our lives today and the result is a deeper understanding for how to live and how to love.Thank you Susan for sharing so much of yourself with all of us. Thank you for your time and energy and guidance. This book, coupled with a solid meditation practice (that I also learned from you!) has helped me to be a better partner, lover and friend. .

⭐I liked how relationships here can be viewed from the four noble truths perspective and understanding the first one was very eye opening. Worthwhile read as it’s a different perspective.

⭐Loved reading this book.

⭐Overall the book has some really interesting advice. But author has used difficult vocabulary at some places, so ease of read is compromised. Also the instances from her life were not intense.Still for someone in relationship, this book is a good read.

⭐I like it ! Everyone should read this book if he/she has/had/ would like to have a relation… also looking back you see where you missed the point. And love is present .. but is not essential if you want to succed.. Susan has told too many truths.. when I read and re-read this book I find love , truth and honesty..you must have been badly scared but still in love and eager to find a way to be successful with the man you love or somebody you care for.

⭐Another fab book by Susan Piver. I find this author to be courageous as a writer and extremely authentic in her ability to engage with the reader. This book really gives you great tools to manage and muddle through life’s/loves ups and downs. I would recommend this book highly. Prepare to be delighted.

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